


I'm stuck here alone with little else but memories of you

by badasskorra



Category: Raven Cycle - Maggie Stiefvater
Genre: Angst with a Happy Ending, Future Fic, M/M, matthew gets married just because
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2016-03-28
Updated: 2016-03-28
Packaged: 2018-05-29 18:04:38
Rating: General Audiences
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 1
Words: 1,694
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/6386959
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/badasskorra/pseuds/badasskorra
Summary: <blockquote class="userstuff">
              <p>"Hey, Ronan. Did you come alone, where's Adam?" </p>
<p>Ronan tried to hide what those words really did to him in his reply. "We broke up. Two years ago, actually. Should've told you earlier but I didn't have a chance, sorry." In reality, Ronan had refused to believe they would forever be separated and had hoped they'd be back together in no time. He had been wrong.</p>
            </blockquote>





	I'm stuck here alone with little else but memories of you

**Author's Note:**

> this seemed like a good idea in the morning
> 
> i've been in this fandom for quite a while but haven't written anything abt it so this is my first fic ?? please let me know if there are any mistakes. feedback is always appreciated. 
> 
> on tumblr @ patrochilleis

"Shit!"

Ronan was going to be late. He had overslept and hadn't heard Gansey's calls, his phone buried somewhere in his room. He couldn't be late. Matthew would kill him if he was late to his wedding.  
Ronan hadn't been really surprised when he found out his little brother was getting married, while he and Declan were still not. The concept still felt a little unreal, though.

He quickly got in the car, his tie still hanging loosely around his neck. He couldn't allow himself be late.

//

Ronan made it on time. He had broken at least a thousand laws while driving to the church, but he was on time.

He had just gotten out of the car when he realised where he was. Church St. Agnes. He still went to mass but he hadn't been to the little apartment for around eight years. Ever since Adam left for college. 

They had started dating during their last year at Aglionby and had been together for around a year after he had graduated from college until they'd had a fight which had resulted in them yelling at each other how this was not going to work out and how they should just forget about one another. It had been two years since that fight and Ronan's heart still tightened in his chest at the thought of it. Now was not an exception. He tried to brush away the thought and pretend to be happy, for his brother's sake. 

After the service came the party and with it, actually having to socialise with acquaintances and the relatives. Ronan didn't mind them as long as they didn't start asking stupid questions. He also hadn't seen his grandparents since his father's funeral. This time, at least, it was a happy occasion. Avoiding Declan wasn't as hard as expected and apart from having to take a family photo, the two didn't cross paths. Ronan saw Gansey and Blue and the three exchanged a few words but then the couple had disappeared in the crowd. 

"Ronnie!" Ronan heard his grandmother call for him when he was filling up his plate. He smiled and turned toward her.

"How are you, my boy. I haven't seen you in a long while." 

"I'm good. I'm sorry I didn't come visit you."

His grandma waved a hand in a dismissive gesture. "I understand you've been busy. It's just good to see you again! You've grown so much!"  

"Grandma!" Matthew's voice made them look at the big mass of guests. "I'm so glad you could come!" 

"Me too, Matty. The wedding was so beautiful, and I'm very happy for you! Excellent choice of a bride," she said with a wink. Matthew smiled and hugged her.

He then turned to Ronan. "Hey, Ronan. Did you come alone, where's Adam?" 

Matthew's smile faltered when he saw the expression on Ronan's face. He realised it had been a mistake to ask. 

Ronan tried to hide what those words really did to him in his reply. "We broke up. Two years ago, actually. Should've told you earlier but I didn't have a chance, sorry." In reality, Ronan had refused to believe they would forever be separated and had hoped they'd be back together in no time. He had been wrong.

"You don't have anything to be sorry for. I shouldn't have asked."

Ronan only nodded in acknowledgement. Matthew tried to smile but it looked more like a grimace. He patted him on the shoulder and turned to his other guests. 

"You seem like you still haven't let that boy go." 

Ronan was startled by his grandmother's voice because he had forgotten she was still there. She took his silence as a sign to continue.

"Maybe you should talk to him. You'll never know whether you've got a chance if you don't talk." 

She then left him alone with his thoughts and went to talk to the bride's family. 

Ronan had thought about it, had almost called a billion times but in the end hadn't. Maybe they still had a chance, but maybe they didn't. Maybe Adam was better off without him. 

Ronan cursed himself for being so sulky on his brother's wedding and decided that a glass of champagne could fix his mood. 

//

Adam had already gone to bed when he heard a knock on his front door. He wondered who would need him at this late hour.

He had moved to Massachusetts after being accepted in Harvard. It was a tough decision but also one he had been waiting for almost all his life. He had always wanted to get away from Henrietta and when he had finally had his chance, he didn't hesitate. It had also meant leaving his friends and Ronan behind but they knew he'd visit whenever he could. They had also promised to drop by every few months. 

It had been especially hard to part with Ronan since they had finally confessed their feelings to each other but he knew Ronan's home was Henrietta and Ronan knew Adam was still looking for his. Adam had thought Ronan was his home until that fight a few years back. He didn't even remember the reason for it, only the angry words shared between them. 

Adam was now grumpily getting out of his bed, looking at his clock which read 1 am. 

When he opened the door, he was suddenly awake. On the other side was waiting Ronan Lynch. He didn't look much different than the last time they saw each other apart from his hair, which he now allowed to grow, and the empty look in his eyes. He stank of alcohol. 

"You're drunk," Adam said before he could stop himself. 

Ronan snorted. "Very observant, Parrish. Can I come in, it's freezing out here." 

Adam had been too focused on Ronan to realise it was raining. He quickly stepped away to let him in.

"What are you doing here? At 1 am?"

Adam didn't know if he should be surprised that their first meeting after two years was like this. He took out a towel for Ronan who was now in the kitchen, checking his fridge. "I don't have any alcohol."

Ronan scowled. "You weren't at Matthew's wedding." 

Oh. Gansey had told him a few weeks ago that Ronan's little brother was getting married but it had slipped his mind. 

"Wasn't invited." Ronan ignored him. Adam sighed and walked into the room. He reopened the fridge and took out the leftover spaghetti and then put them in the microwave. He sat on the counter to wait. 

When the spaghetti was ready, he set two plates on the table and signaled for Ronan to sit down. 

"So..." 

Ronan chewed. "So."

Adam didn't know what to say and didn't want to risk a fight with drunk Ronan so he kept quiet and continued eating.

When they were done Ronan put his plate in the sink and left the kitchen. After Adam finished doing the dishes, he found him asleep on the couch. Instead of waking him, Adam went to his bedroom to get a spare blanket and was suddenly reminded of their days back in Aglionby when Ronan would come almost every night to sleep on his floor. Something tightened in his chest. Adam was most definitely not happy with how their relationship had ended and had many times wondered if there was a way for them to repair it. But every time he almost got in the car to drive to Henrietta, something stopped him. What if they just weren't meant to be?

//

The next morning Ronan woke up with a splitting headache. It took him a minute to remember the events of yesterday, the drive from Virginia to Massachusetts, and more importantly - going to Adam's house. 

_Adam._  He hadn't kicked him out and had even made him dinner. Ronan cursed his drunk self and stood up. He realised it was a mistake when he stumbled. Before he did anything else, Ronan heard noise from the kitchen. 

"Morning," Adam said as he saw him enter the room. Ronan only nodded in response. 

"I suppose you need an aspirin. I left it on the table." 

And indeed it was on the table. 

"About yesterday..." Ronan started.

"Yes?"

He wasn't sure what he wanted to ask first.  _Did I say anything stupid? Did I_ do _anything stupid? Do you still hate me? Can we stop acting like we're strangers?_  Ronan didn't voice any of his questions aloud and instead asked, "What's for breakfast?" 

When they finished eating, Ronan helped Adam with the dishes. 

"You're welcome, by the way," Adam said.

Ronan raised an eyebrow. "For not letting you freeze in the rain." 

The silence lasted a few more minutes until Ronan spoke. "Parrish."

"Yea?" Adam turned toward him, too late remembering how close they were. Their noses were almost touching. 

Ronan took a deep breath. It had been quite a while since they last been this close. He couldn't deny he'd missed it. "Adam, I... I'm sorry, about that stupid fight. I don't even fucking remember what started it but I remember what I told you. And I'm sorry."

Something in Adam's expression softened. "I am to blame, too."

"There were so many times I wanted to talk to you, to try to fix this mess... But I didn't. And I'm sorry for that too." 

Adam let out a breath which ghosted over Ronan's lips and made him shiver with anticipation but he waited for the other boy to make the first move. Adam slowly raised his hand, a question in his eyes. Ronan nodded and Adam let his hand cup his neck. Ronan rested his hands around Adam's waist and slowly leaned in, giving Adam time to pull back. He didn't. Their lips collided and they kissed, and kissed, and kissed. 

When they pulled away, both wore matching smiles. 

"Let's not do that again," Ronan said. They both knew he was referring to the two year fight.

"Couldn't agree more," Adam replied and pecked him on the lips. "Also, apologies to Matthew for missing his wedding."

"I'm sure he's not mad." And he let their lips meet again.


End file.
